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Would you rather...

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Would you rather...

Have a lightsaber

Have a helper monkey

Would you rather...

0%
492,905 agree
Have a lightsaber
0%
287,495 disagree
Have a helper monkey

Hardest Choice Ever

added by Sam Dunn
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A legit Star Wars lightsaber or a helper monkey that would do anything for you (within reason and PETA rules).

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336 comments

  • 140

    Bahearn

    4 years ago

    My helper monkey would have a light saber so it's win/win.

    • 63

      ZmanElete

      1 year ago

      I dont even need the lightsaber. Monkeys are fricking cool

    • 43

      Vesko

      1 year ago

      My lightsaber would come with bonus ninja help monkeys. So it is win/win/win.

    • 23

      Peter

      1 year ago

      Sorry but I don't think a monkey can slice your enemies in half

    • 14

      Derrick Castaño Agu

      1 year ago

      helper monkey can grab a beer for me. Total win.

    • 12

      ossmosse

      1 year ago

      Yeah but really how many times will you actually use a lightsaber and not kill yourself?

    • 12

      Crazed3raser

      1 year ago

      once i saw that it had to be within PETA rules, i was like, nope

    • 19

      Diggler

      1 year ago

      PETA rules means he would do nothing for you.

    • 10

      Rickson Goncalves

      1 year ago

      yo you ever watch Malcolm in the middle, monkeys are pretentious evil homicidal demons

    • 2

      Licu Mihai

      1 year ago

      that what i thinked too!

    • 10

      Kyle

      1 year ago

      I killed your helper monkey with my light saber

    • 3

      Meemo2

      1 year ago

      umm fail.

    • 1

      Justus Smith

      1 year ago

      Why would your helper monkey have a lightsaber??? where did it say that?

    • 4

      1stwarror

      1 year ago

      No need for a lightsaber anyway. I mean, what are you going to do with it, kill people? You'll probably just use it to cut seasoning. It's not like it comes with force. A helper monkey on the other hand can be used for a lot more than culinary stuff.

    • 0

      jakereeno

      1 year ago

      It doesn't say the monkey can't talk so it's a win/win.

    • 5

      jakereeno

      1 year ago

      All I would need now is a pig and a segway and I've got myself a viral video

    • 3

      Foxy Boxes

      1 year ago

      1) Sell lightsaber to military. 2) Profit.

    • 2

      shane

      1 year ago

      well i would use the saber to cut down tress and own a lumber company = moar profit

    • 1

      Kristopher

      9 months ago

      Fuck this shit, my monkey has a machine gun, as in a PKP Pecheneg. MOOOOOONKEYS.

    • 2

      Varkarrus

      6 months ago

      The force is actually invisible helper monkeys

    • 0

      SpiderSilk

      6 months ago

      Marmosets are adorable! I want one!

    • 0

      UnderscoreZero

      4 months ago

      Bah, if you were caught with a lightsaber by police it'd be taken away or something.

    • 0

      that one guy

      4 months ago

      I kill your helper and you the take your lightsaber.

    • 0

      Cupcakes!

      3 months ago

      The monkey can get me a light saber so AGREED!

    • 0

      Ydanay

      2 months ago

      Or I could use a lightsaber to force someone to give me a monkey.

    • 0

      Joby Mcfarland

      1 month ago

      Because your monkey can get you a lightsaber

    • 0

      Cody Dudash

      1 week ago

      You need knowledge of the force to use a lightsaber, and I assume you only get the lightsaber, so it would just be a fancy paperweight.

  • 16

    Stolkmen

    4 years ago

    Light Saber FTW! I would love to have one. Better than a monkey. They die. Sabers don't.

    • 3

      Freesemag

      1 year ago

      But what if you're drunk and accidentally cut off your own head?

    • 7

      Kyle Chainey

      1 year ago

      Then that's your dumb ass fault..

    • 0

      Ozzy

      1 year ago

      ^^ Because you chose the lightsaber..

    • 0

      Kristopher

      9 months ago

      Stolkmen, 3 years earlier, forgot the batteries to his Lightsaber.

    • 0

      PangestuJuan

      3 months ago

      Monkeys are sometime annoying

    • 0

      Cody Dudash

      1 week ago

      But, you need to know the force to use a lightsaber, so it would be useless.

  • 11

    Rythmbot

    2 years ago

    It's illegal to use what you use a lightsaber for. It's adorable to have monkey follow you around.

    • 5

      Tom Swift

      1 year ago

      Until it kills someone

    • 2

      berenkuntz

      1 year ago

      you think having a pet monkey isn't illegal!?

    • 0

      CJ K.

      1 year ago

      who says we're using the lightsaber for murder/other illegal activities?

    • 0

      MarkTheGr8

      11 months ago

      CJ K. In many places walking around with a 2.5 inch knife is illegal. I'm sure you wont be allowed to swing about with a lightsaber, unless it about 100% more light than saber.

  • 11

    River_Song

    2 years ago

    you can always threaten a monkey to be your helper with the lightsaber

  • 9

    Rachel Anne Lastres

    1 year ago

    i would rather the elder wand -_-

  • 9

    ZmanElete

    1 year ago

    Id have that helper monkey help me get a lightsaber

  • 6

    Rikujin

    2 years ago

    conquest

  • 6

    Horshwa

    2 years ago

    My monkey will steal your lightsabers bitches

  • 4

    Storm

    1 year ago

    I showed the bitches my helper monkey. Bitches love helper mokeys

  • 4

    Tiki_Guy

    2 years ago

    I already have helper monkeys. They're called "friends"

    • 0

      Vampn

      9 months ago

      And that`s why I chose the monkey ;(

  • 3

    Mateusz Kraszewski

    1 year ago

    LIGHTSABRUUU!!

  • 3

    Ben Greene

    1 year ago

    Why would you want a lightsaber? You wouldn't even be able to wield it unless you are a jedi.

    • 0

      Cheating Bastard

      1 year ago

      Where did you hear that only Jedi's can use lightsabers?

    • 0

      Ozzy

      1 year ago

      General Grievous disagrees Ben... He uses 4 and hes a fucking robot

    • 0

      Miriam

      2 months ago

      Guys, guys... 1) Why would you not want a light saber?! 2) Sith can also skillfully use a light saber. Or anyone, basically. But maybe not that skillfully. 3) Greivous was a cyborg, not a mere robot.

  • 3

    Philtrum

    2 years ago

    Use the lightsaber to steal a helper monkey. Take over the world. /nod

  • 3

    overtherainbow

    2 years ago

    PETA rules would allow you to do basically nothing with your monkey. Lightsaber would be bad ass.

    • 7

      MarkTheGr8

      2 years ago

      It's a helper monkey. Unless you're going to attempt to rape your monkey, PETA's got nothing to say. Like buying a dog, y'know?

    • 1

      Sean Dawson

      1 year ago

      @Mark I fucking passed out from laughter XD

  • 3

    mat

    3 years ago

    I have nothing to cut.

    • 8

      Ayan Ajgaliev

      1 year ago

      When a lightsaber appears in your hand, you will have a world to cut!

  • 3

    tzk132

    3 years ago

    you can buy a helper monkey

  • 1

    Not_A_Guy

    2 months ago

    My light saver could help me gain a helper monkey... And various other objects

  • 0

    Azimuth

    2 days ago

    Why does this even need to be a question? its like asking "would you rather I bought you a mansion or gave you some gum?"

  • 0

    LiamJosSch

    2 days ago

    Immediate self dismemberment.

  • 1

    Zellona

    2 months ago

    Preeeeetty sure you need to use the force in order to use a light saber. Since I'm not a Jedi, it would be useless to me.

  • 1

    Micky

    3 months ago

    Dude. Its a fucking Lightsaber.

  • 2

    Andrew Smith

    1 year ago

    "You've got a helper monkey?" "Yeah." ZZZZHHHH "That's cute."

  • 0

    4 days ago

    A lightsaber could be dangerous

  • 0

    Nathan McNeely

    4 days ago

    A sword made of pure energy that can slice through anything or a monkey that allows you to be a lazy mother fucker. Light saber for sure

  • 2

    Lisa Wolf

    1 year ago

    my helper monkey would be that intelligent, he would build a lightsaber

  • 2

    Nathan Derpahurdle

    1 year ago

    Fuck PETA. Support a real cause not a bunch of sensationalists that kill more animals than they save.

  • 2

    Nick Vachon

    1 year ago

    I would make irresponsible mistakes with a light saber

  • 2

    Jo Kristoffer

    1 year ago

    I don't I actually read this dilemma. I just saw 'monkey' and pressed it.

  • 2

    Zach Harris

    1 year ago

    Honestly how often are you going to use a lightsaber?

  • 2

    Leon8455

    2 years ago

    "I don't see why you need the FORCE when you have a freaking lightsaber that can cut through anything, all you need then is a list of demands" :3

  • 2

    itsthejizz

    2 years ago

    hands down, force up

  • 2

    Forealms

    2 years ago

    Apart from the fact PETA would not want me to have a helper monkey, lightsabers satisfy an urge that every kid since the 70s has had.

  • 1

    Hjortur

    4 months ago

    too lazy #SWAG

  • 2

    Jim

    4 years ago

    Dance Monkey!!

  • 0

    MonsrerPlayer

    2 weeks ago

    Helper monkeys are so badass!

  • 1

    Salma Ibrahim

    5 months ago

    Curious George!

  • 0

    Haleywainwrite

    2 weeks ago

    Hardest decision of my life.

  • 0

    MonsrerPlayer

    3 weeks ago

    His name is now ''Lunch'' So I can say to my friends ''Hey I'm gonna go get Lunch'' And because it's obviously a badass name for a helper monkey

  • 0

    MythicRare

    3 weeks ago

    The monkey would have PETA rules. So you would be doing more for it than it for you.

  • 1

    Edward

    8 months ago

    If I had a lightsaber, imagine the fortune I could make. Being able to reverse engineer it to figure out how to stop light would in itself make me a multi billionaire. Not counting being able to manufacture or duplicate them. I'd be able to buy an army of helper monkeys. Probably better than the one I would have originally received. Then, I would wreak havoc on the different countries of our world, enslaving those who oppose the fierce monkey soldiers and their dear overlord. I'd always have one helper monkey on hand to pick at my scalp, because, well, I like that s***. I'd also have incredibly attractive women fanning me with giant leaves and feeding me grapes.

  • 0

    Steve Frag

    3 weeks ago

    This needs an additional perk, you can use the force but only on your light-saber, and you can mind control your monkey. Now it's a hard choice.

  • 0

    CDV3

    3 weeks ago

    Why not both?

  • 0

    not_just_any_nerd

    3 weeks ago

    Heyyy!!! But I already have a monkey that I'm in the process if training so I don't need a helper monkey unless it could train others!!!

  • 0

    Katherine McKimmy

    3 weeks ago

    PETA doesn't approve of PETS much less HELPER MONKEYS.

  • 0

    liamamalone

    1 month ago

    I would use it to get a monkey

  • 1

    iMustacheUaQuestion

    1 year ago

    MONKEY MAN

  • 1

    Eric Page

    1 year ago

    Who the hell would not want a monkey? hell I would probably chop my leg off if I had a lightsaber, at least with the monkey he can bring me beer.

    • 0

      pikachu

      1 year ago

      but if you have a light saber then you can threaten a man to give you his monkey then you'll have both

  • 1

    Jagan

    1 year ago

    The monkey would shit everywhere...

  • 0

    Robert_Penguin

    1 month ago

    I would have both

  • 1

    melissa

    1 year ago

    If you have ever seen Malcolm in the Middle you will know why i do not want a helper monkey

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