A legit Star Wars lightsaber or a helper monkey that would do anything for you (within reason and PETA rules).
Unmoderated: This question has not been reviewed by You Rather moderators. Content may be misformatted, offensive or inappropriate in nature.
Add Comment
207 comments
Tip: Use the arrow keys to navigate between questions.
Recently Answered
- You haven't answered any questions yet.
Bahearn
My helper monkey would have a light saber so it's win/win.
ZmanElete
I dont even need the lightsaber. Monkeys are fricking cool
Vesko
My lightsaber would come with bonus ninja help monkeys. So it is win/win/win.
Peter
Sorry but I don't think a monkey can slice your enemies in half
Derrick Castaño Agu
helper monkey can grab a beer for me. Total win.
ossmosse
Yeah but really how many times will you actually use a lightsaber and not kill yourself?
Crazed3raser
once i saw that it had to be within PETA rules, i was like, nope
Diggler
PETA rules means he would do nothing for you.
Rickson Goncalves
yo you ever watch Malcolm in the middle, monkeys are pretentious evil homicidal demons
Licu Mihai
that what i thinked too!
Kyle
I killed your helper monkey with my light saber
Meemo2
umm fail.
Justus Smith
Why would your helper monkey have a lightsaber??? where did it say that?
1stwarror
No need for a lightsaber anyway. I mean, what are you going to do with it, kill people? You'll probably just use it to cut seasoning. It's not like it comes with force. A helper monkey on the other hand can be used for a lot more than culinary stuff.
jakereeno
It doesn't say the monkey can't talk so it's a win/win.
jakereeno
All I would need now is a pig and a segway and I've got myself a viral video
Foxy Boxes
1) Sell lightsaber to military. 2) Profit.
shane
well i would use the saber to cut down tress and own a lumber company = moar profit
Stolkmen
Light Saber FTW! I would love to have one. Better than a monkey. They die. Sabers don't.
Freesemag
But what if you're drunk and accidentally cut off your own head?
Kyle Chainey
Then that's your dumb ass fault..
Ozzy
^^ Because you chose the lightsaber..
Rythmbot
It's illegal to use what you use a lightsaber for. It's adorable to have monkey follow you around.
Tom Swift
Until it kills someone
berenkuntz
you think having a pet monkey isn't illegal!?
CJ K.
who says we're using the lightsaber for murder/other illegal activities?
MarkTheGr8
CJ K. In many places walking around with a 2.5 inch knife is illegal. I'm sure you wont be allowed to swing about with a lightsaber, unless it about 100% more light than saber.
ZmanElete
Id have that helper monkey help me get a lightsaber
River_Song
you can always threaten a monkey to be your helper with the lightsaber
God of Knowledge
Please, explain how you will communicate your said threat to the monkey.
Mydogbuddy007
^ Lol this would make a funny Dr Dolittle movie
Rachel Anne Lastres
i would rather the elder wand -_-
Ben Greene
Why would you want a lightsaber? You wouldn't even be able to wield it unless you are a jedi.
Cheating Bastard
Where did you hear that only Jedi's can use lightsabers?
Ozzy
General Grievous disagrees Ben... He uses 4 and hes a fucking robot
Tiki_Guy
I already have helper monkeys. They're called "friends"
Philtrum
Use the lightsaber to steal a helper monkey. Take over the world. /nod
Rikujin
conquest
Horshwa
My monkey will steal your lightsabers bitches
overtherainbow
PETA rules would allow you to do basically nothing with your monkey. Lightsaber would be bad ass.
MarkTheGr8
It's a helper monkey. Unless you're going to attempt to rape your monkey, PETA's got nothing to say. Like buying a dog, y'know?
Sean Dawson
@Mark I fucking passed out from laughter XD
mat
I have nothing to cut.
Ayan Ajgaliev
When a lightsaber appears in your hand, you will have a world to cut!
tzk132
you can buy a helper monkey
Theshadowquake
no u cant
Sean Dawson
Yes you can...just not in every country.
Storm
I showed the bitches my helper monkey. Bitches love helper mokeys
iMustacheUaQuestion
MONKEY MAN
Jo Kristoffer
I don't I actually read this dilemma. I just saw 'monkey' and pressed it.
Jo Kristoffer
*I don't think
Eric Page
Who the hell would not want a monkey? hell I would probably chop my leg off if I had a lightsaber, at least with the monkey he can bring me beer.
pikachu
but if you have a light saber then you can threaten a man to give you his monkey then you'll have both
Zach Harris
Honestly how often are you going to use a lightsaber?
ಠ_ಠ
every day of my fucking life
pirate
@ಠ_ಠ Doing what?
CJ K.
@pirate anything and everything.
Jagan
The monkey would shit everywhere...
Leon8455
"I don't see why you need the FORCE when you have a freaking lightsaber that can cut through anything, all you need then is a list of demands" :3
Klocknov
And fuck PETA! I could give a shit what that animal terrorist organization has to say.
rct3fan24
If the monkey had a British accent and could speak, then the monkey. But otherwise, no.
melissa
If you have ever seen Malcolm in the Middle you will know why i do not want a helper monkey
Forealms
Apart from the fact PETA would not want me to have a helper monkey, lightsabers satisfy an urge that every kid since the 70s has had.
jakereeno
Not me (I'm 14)
Benl2020
My helper monkey would make me a bunch of lightsabers and phasers so I win!
Jim
Dance Monkey!!
degaeil
Lightsaber = I'll help myself, thanks.
Kantoran
Lightsabers are just horrible amputation accidents waiting to happen.
Marcus Panico
Sell lightsaber technology, become extremely wealthy.
Affann
If that monkey suddenly attack an innocent person,we have to be jail for that
lilyconn
James Braggins
Can dance around naked with a real lightsaber then... no brainer, clearly wouldn't dance with a monkey...
Filipp Pöyhönen
He will put me asleep... Because it's smarter than me!
trondajo
Bzzzzzzzzzzzswuuuunng that monkey
sittty
last i checked, a lightsaber could not smoke cigarettes and drive you around...
Urather16
Have fun accidentally cutting off ur hand when ur playing with it light saber
CJ K.
have fun getting bit by a stupid monkey.
Nathan Derpahurdle
Fuck PETA. Support a real cause not a bunch of sensationalists that kill more animals than they save.
Nick Vachon
I would make irresponsible mistakes with a light saber
Roman Suslov
What would you do with a friggin' lightsaber? CUT YOUR ARM OFF?! Come one people. It would be much cooler if a monkey did your chores for you.
Pe Keen
How is this a question?
luke
The lightsaber is an accident waiting to happen
slopsie
My lightsaber would come with the force, so yea...
webster2086
Exactly what would you people accually do with a light saber? Cut up trees?
Slayer of Potatoes
I choose the lightsaber so I can science it and figure out how to make more. Profit.
Sorry_Darth_Vader_Widebeam_Phaser
Hell if you had the helper monkey within PETA rules, you would be working for it
Tony
Is the force included with the light saber? I hope it's a 2 for 1 deal.
Aaaa
Helper monkeys will eat you face.
Freshofall
How is this even a decision?
melonDew
You can't do shit with a light saber realistically. You'd probably get arrested if you tried.